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Do You Have Multiple Personality Disorder?

Continued from page 4

Published on April 17, 2008

When Rachel was 15, she says, a cult member got her pregnant. She's not entirely sure, but she thinks it may have been her father. The sacrifice was not conducted upon the child's birth, but through an abortion, when she was three or four months pregnant. It was carried out in the office of a doctor who was either part of the cult, or at least a compatriot. Strapped into the seat, her feet in stirrups, Rachel felt the doctor inject her with saline, a pain worse than when she was seven and vaginally raped for the first time.

Rachel recounted the event on her blog:

"The doctor looked up and nodded. I felt my daddy's breath on my ear as he whispered, 'Push, bitch'....I bit my lip as another contraction came. I wanted her. I knew she was there. I could feel her. I couldn't let her go. 'Push, whore. Kill her. You deserve to'....My only satisfaction from the whole ordeal was that the doctor wasn't prepared. He was soon splattered with our blood, mine and my daughter's."

Six weeks later, she was dragged to a church used by the cult and forced to "re-create" the sacrifice for the pleasure of the other cult members. This is also described on her blog.

Dressed in white, Rachel was led by a man in a red robe and trailed by "a barrage" of black-robed men who moved "as one, like liquid, like something ­gelatinous."

They passed an organ "looming like a monster in the darkness," down a staircase and past the bathrooms, where she remembered "having to wash my mouth in the urinal" and "what my breasts sound[ed] like slapping against the cold wall."

Once again, she was strapped down, this time to an altar, where the robed men surrounding her began to groan and masturbate. Rachel's uterus "clamps down and spasms, looking for her [the aborted baby], trying to hold her in." A "privileged" man in a black robe approaches her with a syringe.

"'No!' I cannot help it. I know it is only cow's blood to squirt into my vagina and make it look like the abortion had happened here in front of all of them, but the last time a needle was plunged into me, I delivered my firstborn. Dead. And in pieces."

Rachel includes her photograph and her first and middle names on her blog. Under "About Me," she writes: "From birth to age 19, I lived under the rule of one sect of the occult of which my father and grand­father were members." On one of her two MySpace pages (one for the "real" Rachel, the other for her alters) she declared that she did not want to hear from anyone who questioned the existence of satanic ritual abuse or DID.

The Press left numerous messages for Rachel's father, who never responded, as well as a message with Rachel's grandmother, asking the grandfather to call. He didn't. However, this greatly upset Rachel, for it apparently broke a cardinal rule among those who claim to have DID: You do not question. It is strictly a one-way process. When patients present to therapists and physicians who treat DID, their stories are almost universally accepted as true, often for less than compelling reasons. In his 2007 book Switching Time, psychologist Richard Baer wrote that he believed his 37-year-old patient's history because of the "desperation" in her voice.

The Press got similar results in the case of Jennifer, a DID sufferer who wrote her thesis on the condition for consideration of her master of science degree for the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas.

Jennifer and her husband both claim to have DID, and they maintain a Web site with personal histories and educational material of the condition. In her thesis, she included a bio containing her parents' names (including her mother's maiden name) and the name of her brother.

While her thesis does not name her abuser, her Web site does. It is her father, who allegedly began molesting Jennifer when she was about four. This resulted in the advent of at least 54 alters, whose names include Entropy, B-Quiet, Wallpaper, Purple Rain, BluVelvyt and The Lost One. Collectively, they are known as the Tiger Wolf Crew. They often work together in age-based groups; Jennifer's site includes, for example, a poem written "by the Littles of TWCrew."

Jennifer also writes of how her father's brand of abuse changed over the years:

• There were also different images of my father. His abuse preferences changed as I aged:

• The man who seemed to be exploring my body as if it was something he had never seen before...a scientist experimenting with a new discovery.

• The gentle man who slid into bed at night as if he was visiting a mistress, pressing me into his body as if trying to consume me...the lover who wanted closeness and refused to stop until I faked an orgasm.

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