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Do You Have Multiple Personality Disorder?

Continued from page 5

Published on April 17, 2008

• The man filled with intense rage who would be so forceful that my body would bleed, who seemed to need to see my hot tears...the bull on a ­rampage.

• The man filled with fear that he would be exposed, who threw me against the wall and strangled me until I blacked out...the one capable of murder.

Jennifer writes on the site of her 1996 confrontation with her father, who had divorced Jennifer's mother years earlier and moved out of Texas.

"What makes you say/think this, where did these so-called memories (his wording) come from," she writes. Then, he turned to Jennifer's mother: "He told her that he wanted to do something to prove that he was innocent, that he would even take a polygraph. (When he asked me if I wanted him to take one, I laughed and told him that he was such a smooth liar that he could mess up a polygraph to say/do whatever he wanted it to do)."

The confrontation made her stronger, and today Jennifer is a mental health professional who treats others. She includes on her site helpful material like "Reclaiming Sex: Tips for Multiples, Survivors and Significant Others." Multiples, for example, should not keep stuffed animals in any areas where sexual activity occurs. "It may also be helpful to have different pajamas: comfy ones that indicate that lils [child alters] are safe to come out at any time, and then sexier lingerie that signals that lils should not be out."

In an e-mail to the Press, Jennifer explained that she and her husband have their alters under control to the point that their alters only pop out at age-­appropriate times. There is never the fear that five-year-old Wallpaper will spontaneously take over while Jennifer is driving, filling out a bank deposit slip or engaging in any other adult activity.

Although Jennifer provided enough online information to identify her father by name as a man responsible for perhaps the worst crime a person can commit, she was upset when the Press tried to contact him, to give him the opportunity to respond to the accusation.

Again, protocol was breached — accusations of child rape and a diagnosis of DID were not automatically accepted. (In a subsequent e-mail, Jennifer explained her concern: "I have known people who have lost careers and the custody of their children because of the DID diagnosis — not because of their actions but because of fear and misunderstanding from employers and the court system. It may be hard to find supporters willing to go public with their belief or even with their own personal history of DID, but that isn't the same as there being no supporters. There is still a strong curtain of silence, shame and fear.").

Actually, it's not just some journalists who have difficulty accepting a multiple personality diagnosis without question. People who believe they have DID will bounce from therapist to therapist. Rachel says she saw a therapist for a year prior to seeing Hodgin. She says that therapist thought she was angry that her parents had divorced, and her father may have done "inappropriate" things. As far as Rachel was concerned, that therapist didn't have a clue.

A friend referred her to Hodgin, who specializes in DID, and Rachel could tell right away that Hodgin knew what was going on in her head — and why.

Hodgin received his master's degree in clinical psychology from Houston Baptist University in 1987 and became a licensed professional counselor in 2004. Hodgin says that many therapists are ill-equipped to handle such a complex problem.

"DID patients are like Rubik's Cubes," he says, before trying another simile. He says they see the world like a fly, with hundreds of little windows. "The 200 windows are one picture, but it's all scrambled."

He says later, "I don't go into this looking to say there's got to be a satanic cult here. I don't care. I just want to get the person back to a mental sanity that allows them to be okay. If I can do that, I've done wonders for somebody. All I know is all these people have similar patterns, similar things occurring...and there's a language to it that is quite different."

One of the problems in understanding and treating DID, Hodgin says, is that it can't be explained solely through a scientific model.

"Emotions cannot be researched," he says. "Who's going to quantify them? The development of emotions, the value of emotions — there's no research here holding up on all this. And so we have a dilemma. Yet these people are showing up. What are we going to do with them?...We've got to do something — why? Because they're showing up in psych-houses. So something exists. Whether we call it PTSD, whether we call it DID — what does it matter?"
_____________________

"Okay, [Rachel], why did you come tonight?" Hodgin asks at the end of the interview. Rachel is visibly exhausted from the action of alters popping in and out during the last few hours.

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